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I just posted about how to do a charm bag for protection, and I’ve got one lined up soon about the best herbs for protection too. (You can tell that’s been on my mind a lot lately.)

But the first ever charm bag I ever did, years ago, was early in my marriage. I had trouble getting a job during the recession, and I was feeling really low and like my husband was resentful of me. It was all in my head – really, I was feeling terrible about myself. What i needed the most in that moment was self-love. So I went off a reddit post and set up my first ever spell. 

(I wish I knew where it was! We’ve moved a couple times since then, so it was probably lost somewhere in that process.)

I’ve learned a lot since then! And while my self-love has come a looooong way in those years, I sometimes still need a little help quieting the critical voice in my head. When that happens, I turn to herbs for self-love. I’m less likely to do a charm bag for something like this now, at least for myself. But this post will talk about when a charm bag might be appropriate, too.

Why Herbs for Self-Love?

Herbs have always been used for emotional healing and promoting a sense of love and inner peace. The powerful nature of plant medicine makes it a valuable tool on the journey of self-love. Modern research confirms what traditional Chinese medicine and ayurvedic medicine have known for centuries: healing herbs can support both emotional and physical health. Whether you’re seeking better mental health, higher energy levels, or a deeper connection with your true self, medicinal herbs can help.

Many medicines are derived from plants and herbs, so there’s no doubt that they can act on our body and change our mood. So we know they work medically inside the body. But these herbs also work vibrationally, when they’re burned or placed in a ritual or on an altar, just like herbs for manifestation. You don’t have to take them inside your body to benefit from their power! 

So, someone who’s focused on deepening their self-love and improving their relationship with themselves has a lot of gifts. 

By integrating herbs into self-care rituals, you can tap into the profound effects of nature’s gifts. These simple acts of self-love, like sipping herbal teas or enjoying ritual baths, foster a healing journey toward inner strength and self-compassion.

If you’re looking to further increase the power and resonance of these herbs, do your ritual on a Thursday! That’s Venus day, a great opportunity to harness love of any type. 

What Do I Do With Herbs for Self-Love?

There are many magical uses for herbs that promote self-love. These include creating self-love rituals, embedding herbs in candles, and preparing herbal teas. Herbs can also be infused into baths for a powerful way to relax and rejuvenate.

Some of the best ways to use herbs for self-love include:

Self-Love Charm Bags

Create small pouches filled with herbs that support love and healing. You can also include crystals, sigils, and other items that will focus the power of this love. I wrote a recent post about charm bags for protection, and I’m looking forward to adding one about self-love soon! I like to include some type of personal item in a charm bag. For a self-love charm bag, I think I would look for something that represented something that I was proud of or a time when I had felt truly happy with myself. As a parent, I might also choose something that represented my children, to invoke the unconditional love a child brings to their parent. 

Herbal Teas for Self-Love

You can brew hot water infusions of medicinal herbs for emotional healing! Good Witch Kitchen has a really lovely self-love tea recipe. I love that it uses rose petals and hibiscus and all these love herbs. I also love that it has sweetness and richness from the honey and coconut butter and that it brings that indulgence! Most of my herbs come from Mountain Rose Herbs — I have their rose petals and they are really lovely. If you’re going to ingest something, you want to be more discerning about where it comes from! 

Self-Love Ritual Baths

 Use healing herbs and essential oils in hot or cold water to cleanse negative energy or literally immerse yourself in love. Again — if you can fit this one in on a Thursday, you can also benefit from it being Venus Day. 

Rose petals are a great, classic choice for a self-love bath! I also love to use calendula — that’s marigold. Marigolds are super easy to grow and then dry to save for rituals. They symbolize lasting love and consistency, so they’re a great choice to represent permanent high self-esteem. The only drawback of marigolds for a ritual bath is that they are a pain to clean out of the tub later. Lavender will give you the same problem, so I often choose lavender-infused epsom salts instead. 

Many people like to pop crystals into the water of their bath — I don’t, because I do usually put epsom salts in, and I don’t want to damage my crystals. When I’m planning ahead, I pop a rose quartz crystal in the jar when I’m making moon water, then I pour the water into the bath. When I’m not planning ahead (95% of the time), I just set it by the tub, touch it, and talk to it. 

A basic ritual bath setup will look like this: 

• fill the tub almost all the way while you set up your materials. If you have extra time, consider some pre-bath primping that makes you feel good, not self-critical. 
• As the tub finishes filling, light your incense and cleanse your materials. If you’re using a candle, light your candle too. If you can’t use either incense or a candle, consider sound cleansing your items with a bell! 
• Add in epsom salts if you’re using, and stir clockwise three times while focused on your affirmation. Sometimes you may want something specific, but a general example might be, “I love myself and I’m proud to be me.” 
• Continue with your affirmations as you add in the rose petals, other flowers, or other herbs. You can also add your crystals or moon water at this point. 
• During your bath, focus on your affirmations or on cultivating self-love, in whatever way feels good. Resist the urge to watch netflix or scroll! 

Altar for Self-Love

You can also select self-love herbs to place on your altar and deepen your self love that way. If the altar is the center of your power and practice, adding these self-love herbs will help you love yourself more. You might even consider a tiny self-love focused altar in a place where you use a mirror! You might light the candle in that altar while you do your makeup and focus on your own beauty and power.

Best Herbs for Self-Love Charm Bags, Ritual Baths, or Candles 

Okay, you’re convinced! Now, let’s get into which herbs are the best to use for a self-love spell. 

Some of these herbs are specifically for self-love, and others interact to make the spell more powerful or to clear away negativity. 

You shouldn’t need to go out to buy a thousand things to do a ritual like this — if all you have right now is sea salt and lavender, start with that and lean into the properties of those items. You can use those two to reduce self-doubt and drive out uncertainty or unhappiness. For most people who are struggling to love themselves, that is still going to be a significant improvement. 

And if you then go out and pick up some rose petals, or you plant marigolds this spring, you’re deepening your practice. But you can start today, using just what you have access to.

Here are the best herbs for self-love:

• Rose Petals: A symbol of love and a powerful tool for fostering unconditional love and compassion.
• Lavender: Known for its soothing effects, it fosters relaxation and mental clarity.
• Sea Salt: Cleanses negative energy and restores balance.
• Holy Basil: Known for its adaptogenic herbs properties, it supports cognitive function and reduces the effects of stress. Often the easiest way to buy this is in a tea bag, and it’s sometimes sold as ‘Tulsi’. 
• Lemon Verbena: Helps clear negative energy and promotes a sense of calm. Also frequently sold as a tea! 
• Kava Kava: Eases an anxious mind and supports emotional healing.
• Asparagus Racemosus/Shatavari: This one is harder to find, but, it’s a great herb for supporting emotional balance and divine feminine energy. It’s part of traditional Ayurvedic medicine, and often sold in powder form. 

Fill your bath with hot water, add your herbs, and immerse yourself in a transformative journey of self-love.

Final Thoughts on Herbs for Self-Love

The powerful nature of plant medicine offers endless opportunities for nurturing your mental health, emotional healing, and physical wellness. Whether you’re using medicinal herbs in ritual baths, self-love charm bags, or herbal teas, each act contributes to your journey toward a healthy life filled with love and positive energy.

Remember, self-love is a transformative journey that connects you with your true self. Herbal practices and rituals will empower your work, but it needs to start with you. You deserve the work!