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I know that just the title of this post is going to get some groans from people.
We tend to stereotype our work relationships as the most frustrating, tedious, upsetting relationships. After all, you can pick your spouse and your friends, but you usually can’t pick your coworkers.
I certainly didn’t get to pick my coworkers! But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make the most of my relationships with my coworkers, even the ones that frustrate me. I just got word that I’m taking on a new role at my school next year — still teaching, but responsible for managing a group of about twenty other teachers.
So, I think words of affirmation are really important for managers, but I also really believe that anybody can benefit from using words of affirmation to strengthen their relationships with their coworkers.
What Are Words of Affirmation?
Words of affirmation are positive statements that uplift and motivate. Typically, words of affirmation are chosen to show that you noticed something positive about the person you’re talking to.
If you think about a time when you felt discouraged, put down, or judged at work, you can imagine how powerful this is. Maybe someone came through, picked you up, and showed you that they knew what your strengths were. (Or maybe someone should have!)
Or, maybe there was a day that was just fine, and someone complimented something about your work. Feeling like someone noticed your effort can make a big difference in how we feel about our jobs.
Words of affirmation for coworkers encourage team members to maintain a positive attitude and achieve common goals. They can affirm a person’s hard work, creative ideas, or supportive contributions to the team.
The use of affirmations is rooted in the concept of harnessing the brain’s ability to shape beliefs. When people hear positive statements regularly, they begin to shift their mindset. This helps replace negative thoughts with a more positive outlook, fostering growth and productivity. You can imagine how, over time, a workplace culture can start to change and improve because people feel valued.
Why Use Words of Affirmation for Coworkers?
The workplace can be filled with stressful situations and difficult tasks. And, because we all spend so much time together, coworkers can squabble or get resentful. People can often feel unappreciated. (I hate when bosses call a job a “family”, because it’s usually to be manipulative. But honestly, in many ways, a workplace is like a family!)
Using positive affirmations is a great way to maintain a supportive work environment. Words of affirmation create a culture of appreciation, which helps boost team morale. If people feel like their effort is noticed and appreciated, you’re also going to get more effort.
(So, I’m a high school English teacher. And it’s not that I don’t feel like my students appreciate me, because I know they do! But when I roll out a really, really good unit that I worked really hard on, it’s not like they’re going to say, “Wow, miss, this is such a well-developed instructional plan”, you know? So, even though the emotionally rewarding part of my job is mostly from the students… It still means a lot to me to hear words of respect and affirmation from a colleague.)
And this is true at literally every job. I have worked in three different jobs where someone said, “I only have time to deal with problems, fix them, and move on to the next problem”, and every single one of those jobs was super toxic.
And even in a toxic environment, you can build a happier and healthier setting for yourself and your immediate coworkers. It’s so easy to just get sucked into a toxic mindset and to spend your workday complaining with your closest work friends. But you’ll be happier in the long run if you’re nurturing a healthy environment in the space you have control over! Expressing gratitude and encouragement fosters mutual respect and strengthens professional relationships.
Affirmations can also help reduce negative feelings and negative self-talk, improving mental health. A more positive mindset helps coworkers tackle challenges and develop innovative solutions. When we can all work well together, we’re better equipped to be successful and enjoy work more.
Isn’t Words of Affirmation a Love Language?
Yes. And I’m assuming that while you love your coworkers, you don’t love your coworkers.
(If you think you do, you gotta ask yourself– do you actually love him, or is he just…around a lot?)
But!
I’ve written about words of affirmation for friends too, because really what are love languages are supposed to do is to help us deepen our relationships with others.
Some love languages are not appropriate for work! Please keep your physical touch to yourself, thank you.
But words of affirmation for coworkers are a great and appropriate way to strengthen your relationships at work. Someone who is just an acquaintance at work can be made to feel appreciated as much as your spouse can. And every improved relationship at your job can be used to make you feel happier at work, every day.
Words of Affirmation Are Not Only for Difficult Coworkers!
Okay, this DOESN’T mean you should only use words of affirmation for coworkers that are toxic or difficult.
We’ve all sat in a meeting where a team leader lavished praise on our worst coworker to keep them from having a temper tantrum. And all that does is build resentment in the people who are showing up and trying to do the right thing every day.
It’s easy to think that words of affirmation are only for resolving issues with difficult colleagues. However, positive work affirmations are beneficial for all team members. And complimenting people who don’t cause drama does a lot more to build a healthy culture than praising the squeaky wheel. Even small affirmations like “good job,” “great idea,” or “thank you for your effort” can have a positive impact on someone’s work day. Recognizing great things, even in routine tasks, helps build positive relationships and a culture of respect.
That doesn’t mean you get to ignore your difficult coworkers, though (unless it’s really serious!). The best strategy for them is to only use words of affirmation when they’re doing something you truly want them to do again. Just like kids — a quick thank you for a good behavior will bring you more of it.
Incorporating affirmations into your daily work routine can improve communication skills, boost team morale, and promote collaborative efforts. By sharing positive messages and expressing appreciation for your coworkers, you contribute to a productive work environment.
Bringing Positive Energy to Work to Change Your Day and Change Your Life
Affirmations have the power to change your daily routine and work life. Positive thoughts influence your subconscious mind, helping you approach your job with renewed energy and enthusiasm. In the same way you can use affirmations to bring in life satisfaction for other things, you can use words of affirmation to change the energy others are bringing to work.
For me, this has been a long journey. My workplace was toxic when I started working there. And for the first few years of playing nice and avoiding drama, it felt like I wasn’t getting very far at all. Most of my coworkers had been there for 20+ years, and they had grudges against each other that dated back to before I could drive.
(This sounds like I think I’m so incredibly mature or whatever…I’m not. I was 25, and I thought their middle-aged person drama was boring. Now that I’m in my late 30s, I see that that saved me from getting dragged in!)
I’m there ten years now. Some people have retired, and every time we got a new person, I tried to build a healthy, positive relationship with them. Every time I worked with a colleague on a project, I tried to build a healthy, positive relationship with them while they were away from their clique.
Am I in paradise? Of course not. It’s not a perfectly drama-free workplace. But my day — the people I interact with daily — is full of positive and supportive relationships. Some of those relationships are even with people who are involved in drama elsewhere.
But keeping it positive and offering words of affirmation for coworkers did help me build relationships in a positive way, and drama stays away from me.
Examples of Positive Work Affirmations:
Let me start with a recent one.
We have a new-ish team member who works mostly alone based on her schedule. We got some scores back last month, and she crushed it.
I never see her face-to-face, but I shot her a quick email: “Hey, I saw your scores! You’re doing an amazing job and they’re lucky to have you.”
It took 30 seconds, and it was like our third interaction ever, but it set our relationship on a positive note for the future when we do work together.
The key to a great work affirmation is that it’s specific. Lots of jobs will give you generic affirmations, but as you work to start using affirmations for coworkers, you learn to train yourself to see someone’s effort and success.
Like, “Hey, thank you for finishing up the slide deck. It looks great.” This shouldn’t be rare in a workplace, but it is! Just because “it’s your job” doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t deserve to hear something nice.
Here are some sentence starters for words of affirmation for coworkers:
- I really appreciate how you…
- Thank you for…
- I loved your…
- You did such a great job on ….!
- You always …. and I really appreciate it.
- Thanks for saying that in the meeting yesterday. I felt…
- I’m glad we’re working together on this.
- Your _____ really made this project go so much better.
The more specific you can get your affirmations to be, the more effective they are. The point of words of affirmation for coworkers is not to be ‘nice’ — it’s to let people know that when they show up as their best selves, people notice. So adding words of affirmation into your work life is really about training yourself to notice the good. (AKA it makes you happier too)
Final Thoughts
We spend so much of our lives at work that it’s worth it to make it a happy place to be as much as we can.Words of affirmation for coworkers are a great example of how positive statements can create a lasting impact. Whether you’re dealing with difficult colleagues or celebrating team successes, using affirmations helps build a culture of appreciation and positivity. You’ll like work more if you can have positive relationships and mindsets while you’re there.
Using the right words in the workplace builds a positive work environment, fosters personal growth, and improves professional relationships. Affirmations are a powerful tool for promoting career growth and a healthier work-life balance.By shifting from negative beliefs to positive affirmations, you can create a productive work environment filled with good relationships and innovative solutions. The power of positive affirmations goes beyond professional life—it impacts your daily life and personal growth.
