10 Best Tips for Self-Care When You're Struggling

this post may contain affiliate links.

Who needs these top 10 self-care tips? When you’re going through a hard time, it can feel really hard to see a way out. If challenges are beyond our control, we can easily start to feel like everything in our life is beyond our control too. But, just because we may not be able to immediately solve the problem that we’re facing, it doesn’t mean we can’t set ourselves up to feel better while we go through it, or to cope better with our current challenges. Some of these tips for self-care can help you help yourself feel better.

Sometimes, getting our mindset right or giving ourselves a small win can also set us up to approach our problems with new eyes. As much as self-care can be frivolous sometimes, it can also empower us and remind us how much we do have access to to improve our mindset. These tips for self-care can help you get focused on what you do control.

The top 10 self-care tips for mindset, not complexion

These top 10 tips for self-care when you’re having a hard time can help you look at what you can control and how you can set yourself up to feel better. You won’t find bubble baths or eye gels here (though they are a great addition if you have them on hand!) because sometimes what we need is to tackle the big stuff as best we can. The Pinterest-y self care stuff can be amazing (and obviously I love it because I have this blog) but sometimes we need to dig a little deeper if we’re trying to do self-care for depression.

1. Get Some Distraction-Free Time

Every person going through hardship is different: some might have no time at all due to their commitments, and some might have way too much time and nothing to fill it with.

If you have too many responsibilities and not enough time to do everything you need to, the idea of distraction-free time might make you want to ask, “When am I going to fit that in?”.

And if you have long, endless days that you dread, it may feel like you desperately need the distractions to keep you moving.

But research has found that even tasks that we think of as unpleasant, like washing dishes, can improve our mood and positive affect when done without distractions. Most of us insist on a distraction for an activity like this — I am definitely a culprit of needing Netflix to get myself to fold the laundry. But it turns out that even though it’s hard to get started, it can be really helpful to quiet the part of your mind that plans, worries, and dwells on the past for just a minute and dedicate your whole mind to a task.

All out of dishes? Lucky you! This concept should work just as well for painting, cooking, or going on a walk.

2. Prioritize Sleep

A lot of people who are feeling down don’t sleep well–sometimes, because we don’t sleep well, we start to feel down.

You may not be able to get eight perfect hours right this second, but it’s worth taking a look at what you can improve today. You may not control the time you get home or the needs of your children or the sound outside your window, but there are also factors that you can change.

Things You Can Do To Improve Sleep (That Are Free and Don’t Require More Sleep Time)

Can you turn off your screens earlier than you currently do? If you are scrolling right up until the moment you close your eyes, that may play a role in why your mind races at night. If this is a hard rule to follow through on, consider the tip everyone hates — keep all devices out of your bedroom.
Can you change your eating schedule to give you some time to digest before bed?
Can you build a walk into your day somewhere or make an effort to walk more during your workday?
Can you limit or reduce caffeine and alcohol in the second half of your day?
Can you make your bedroom darker or cooler?
Can you develop a bedtime ritual around the things you already do, like brushing your teeth and washing your face? Adding in a few additional activities in the same order every night can help signal to your body that it’s time for sleep.

And if you get a free night at some point, try my Perfect Self-Care Night Routine to Help You Doze Right Off.

Almost no one will be able to do all of these! But try to incorporate a few –even just one to start–and see if it improves your sleep and, by extension, your mood. If you can make better use of the time you currently have to sleep, you will feel better!

3. Look Good, Feel Good

It’s not frivolous or meaningless or shallow to want to feel good about yourself! If you’re looking for an opportunity to boost your self-esteem after feeling low for a long time, an external change can make a difference. Feeling good when you think about yourself does make a difference, and one positive change can bring another!

Some Beauty Ideas That Use Things You Might Already Have

Style your hair.
- If you have a blow dryer, a blowout will be free (and a Youtube tutorial can teach you how! See what kind of hairbrushes you already have and search it up that way, like “blow dry hair paddle brush”. That way you don’t feel like you have to go buy a new hairbrush to follow along. A heat protectant is highly recommended if you are going to do this regularly. Pantene has an inexpensive one that you can find in the grocery store.
- If you are a curly girl, style your curls! This can be a long learning curve if you don’t have experience caring for your hair. But, for most curlies, a deep conditioner (or your regular conditioner left on for a while) plus a gel of some sort will get you started. Here’s a version of the curly girl method if this idea is new to you. Again, you don’t need to go out and buy a zillion products to get started.
- And I love this video of ideas for type 4C hair — pick something you already have the supplies for, follow along with the video, and shine!
Do your nails. If you have a gel kit that you bought during the pandemic, cool–here’s how to get rid of that sticky residue at the end! If you only have a set of clippers, grab those. You can shape your nails and use some olive oil from your kitchen that you can rub on your cuticles to give your natural nails a healthy look. Whatever you’ve got can be really helpful to giving you something pretty and satisfying.
If you have the time, consider a quick Self-Care Sunday Routine to give yourself a full-body tune-up. Start by pulling out all the products you have and sorting them into a routine that will give you a special version of what you typically do: the nicer soap that you don’t reach for, the deep conditioner you don’t usually have time for. Some products you may not have can be DIYed — I like to make a body scrub out of sugar, olive oil, and that morning’s coffee grounds. Even without having to go spend money, you can make it a routine that feels special.

109 Law of Attraction Affirmations For Beauty will help you remind yourself of your own natural beauty as well.

Some Beauty Ideas If You Can Spend Some Money

There’s nothing like a new haircut to make you feel like a new person! Choose a style that is realistic for your hair type and the amount of time you have to spend on your hair so that you love it for months. Bringing inspiration photos to the salon will help make sure you get what you’re looking for.
A new perfume or scented lotion that feels pretty can perk up your mornings. I especially love to do this one during the winter doldrums when it’s hard to get out of bed in the mornings. A new bath set motivates me to get into the shower to start my day when I otherwise really don’t want to!
Go get the personal care service you like best. I don’t love the nail salon, but a massage will always perk me right up. If you love your nails, or lash extensions, or a facial, those things can be a little light for us. Curious about Lip Filler? We have the deets on that too.
If you can only spend a little, even a new bottle of nail polish or a brow pen can perk you up and will last a long time.

4. Mindfulness or Meditation

I know that some people love to hate meditation, but I believe there is a meditation practice for everyone! If you don’t like to sit still and focus on your breath, that’s fine. Maybe you would be better served by a walking meditation, or by focusing on affirmations. There are lots of good affirmations on YouTube, and I hope to someday write some for this blog!

Journaling is also a great option if meditation is too passive for you. Journaling gives you that still, calm time but is more engaging. If you feel like your mind wanders when you try to meditate, journaling may have the focus you need.

Whatever you try, remember that the point is not to be perfect. When you’re meditating, the trying is the point!

5. Health-Promoting Changes

When you’re feeling low because of your health or you’re uncomfortable in your body, everything else in life suffers. So taking an opportunity to improve your health can also improve your environment and mood! That doesn’t mean try to overhaul every aspect of your health at once.

I bet we’ve all tried that, and it never works.

Instead, pick a small change, or two related small changes, that seem like they would improve your health. Add them to your life for a week or so. If you’re feeling a little better, maybe you add a couple more. You’re not trying to change completely, just to give yourself something to stand on to feel a little better.

Small Healthy Changes Might Include:

Increasing your intake of water and/or tea
Decreasing your intake of caffeine and/or alcohol
Adding a serving of fruits and vegetables to your usual intake
Removing a serving of packaged or sugary foods from your usual intake
Adding a protein shake to your day, if you think you may not get enough protein
Adding a complex carbohydrate like brown rice or oatmeal to your day, if you get tired midday

Any of these changes might set you up to feel better in your body. It’s not about how you look, it’s about how you physically feel.

6. Call and Connect

It can be really hard to reach out and ask for help. It’s scary to let people know that we’re struggling when we’ve been working so hard to seem fine from the outside.

If you’re not ready to let others in to what you’re going through, you don’t have to. But if you can reach out to someone and connect in a meaningful way, even if you don’t tell them everything, that can help you a lot. Spending an hour talking about movies or memories will help. Talking to someone face-to-face or on the phone will do more for you than social media will. It doesn’t have to be a best friend. If you have thirty minutes with a coworker, that can be enough time to fill your social cup.

If you don’t have a person in your life to reach out to, check your local resources. A library knitting group or similar activity could be perfect. There would be people to talk to, something to do with your hands if you’re nervous, and low pressure. Maybe your area has a community clean-up day or someone is canvassing locally for a cause you care about. None of these are forever commitments. You can try them and see how they feel!

7. Physical Activity

A walk is good enough! There’s no mental health activity like a walk, so don’t feel like you need to go lift giant barbells. If you can get outside for fifteen minutes and move your body, see some sights and let your mind wander a little, you will have done a great things for yourself. If you can do that fifteen minute walk without touching your phone, that’s twice as good.

For people who love yoga or have always wanted to try Pilates or any other activity, those are great too! I tend to be anxious and find that a spin class or interval training class quiets my mind. If you want to do a different thing, definitely do whatever feels and sounds good. But for people who don’t love the idea of working out or haven’t been active in a while, getting out for a short walk will move you in a positive direction.

8. Do for Others

Most of us have our pride, and it isn’t always easy to reach out and say that we need someone to help us. Instead, it can be easier to reach out and do something for someone else. This can work a couple different ways.

Maybe you know who you need to spend some time with but you don’t feel comfortable telling them what you are going through. Reaching out to them to do something for them or to check up on them can be the push you need to get you into that social contact, whether you open up or not once you’re there!
Or maybe you just need some human contact outside of a situation. This can be a great opportunity to start looking for volunteer opportunities, if you have time, or to find a place in work or school where you can help someone else and interact with different people. College campuses and high schools often have volunteer opportunities that might help you meet some new people. Or, you can attend a new club or reach out to someone you know who you think might need you. For adults this can be harder since our lives are often less structured, but perhaps you have a neighbor or coworker you can drop in on our reach out to.
Animal lover? There is no less judgemental companion than a pet, and I bet you have someone in your life who could use a little help caring for their animal.

9. Plan a Way Forward

Almost none of these tips for self-care will work instantly. This one won’t either, but it can be motivating.

If there was an easy solution to what you’re going through, you would have found it and solved everything by now. So there are only hard ways left. But the thing about hard ways is that you can still do them–they are just hard, not impossible.

Ask yourself: even though it’s hard, can I make a step towards a better situation today? Even if it takes a month, or six months, or a year, how can I address my problem? If I give myself permission and acceptance that this might be a long journey, can I take a smallish step today towards addressing what I need to address?

While you’re at it, add some How To Use Positive Affirmations in Your Bullet Journal.

10. Practice Gratitude, Even When it’s Hard

When everything is going wrong, a gratitude practice can seem like a reminder of how much you don’t have. But it’s worth doing anyway to help balance your mindset. Humans have a negativity bias–we focus more on the bad than the good. That is incredibly important to helping us assess danger and survive. But, over the long term when we’re hurting, it means that we begin to only see the bad. Taking time to intentionally see the good in our lives rebalances the scales.

Even when it feels like everything is falling apart: What went well today? What moments of calm did you have today? What was beautiful today?

In addition to helping your mindset in the moment, this can also help you develop your own personal tips for self-care. If you decide tonight that you were grateful that you saw the sunrise, you know that tomorrow you should grab your coffee and watch the sunrise again. In order to give ourselves these little personalized joys, we first have to notice them and feel them affecting us.

Your Personal Tips for Self-Care

Taking this gratitude practice to start you off, you can begin to look for places where you are finding your own self-care tips. As in the previous example: if you realize the sunrise makes you happy and gives you a moment of peace and calm, make ten minutes for the sunrise! If it makes you happy to wake up to a text from your best friend, message them right before you go to sleep.

Really tuning into the process and seeing how things make you individually feel is a lot more valuable than just copying my tips for self-care (though I hope they gave you some helpful ideas!). Try all of them, see which ones serve you and give you a little lift. Those are your meaningful self-care, and they can give you a solid foundation while you do your best and push through your challenges.

really well, thanks!

10 Best Tips for Self-Care When You’re Struggling